The Lazy American

Nearly every morning, when I am pouring half & half into my coffee, I get a little bit pissed off. When I was a kid, in order to pour milk or orange juice (or whatever) from a carton, all a person had to do was put a special squeeze on the folded cardboard at the top of the container. I remember being so proud when I first mastered this skill without ripping the top of the carton! These days, because so many people are sloppy folders, and apparently are either too stupid or too lazy to learn correctly, these cartons have a side-mounted spout with a twist-off plastic cap, and a throwaway pull-out plug as an initial safety seal. What a freaking waste! Not to mention the wasted amount of whatever beverage is inside that can't make it out of the carton before it is discarded. For the record, I open the gable (the technical term for the top of the carton) to get the last drops of half & half every time... It's bad enough that most milk cartons go directly into landfills (only 0.05% of the 500,000 tons used annually get recycled), but now (and I use the term 'now' loosely since it's been going on for a couple of decades) there is a big hunk of plastic on each carton complicating the biodegradation process. I've searched several grocery stores for cartons without the plastic to no avail. I would be very happy if everyone would choose cartons without this plastic spout (and gain a bit of satisfaction at relearning such a rudimentary skill). The planet would be better off for it, and your kid(s) would probably enjoy learning from you how to use them.

OPEN THE GABLE!!

...And if you find a brand or store that features the non-plastic spout cartons, please let me (and your friends) know!